To Hold On or Let Go
by Adicus Langley
Summary: Rework of my piece. 9/7/11 Slight update to chapter 3.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: __This is a rework of my piece "To Hold on or Let Go". When I wrote this originally it was supposed to be a frame work piece setting the stage for the much larger work I am currently in the middle of. But I am sure you understand that as a story unfolds, it changes pleasantly in ways that were not at first intended. So the larger work has again influenced this one. I wanted to develop my Shepard and especially Liara a little more than I originally had. I found that my characters also did not fit well with the games story in some ways. I was never happy with the way the game had Shepard and Liara interact after the battle with Vasir. To me, I felt that Shepard should have been the angrier of the two, and Liara should have been the one to try to explain her situation._

_I also blame Blackdeer 7 , DRwells123, Kachie Takahashi, Elizabeth Carter, and many others for this rework. Through their wonderful works, they have set the bench mark for me to work towards in my writing. _

_The games Mass Effect and Mass Effect2, it's characters and story points belong to Bioware. Other imagery and ideas are my own. Thank you Bioware for letting me play in the fantastic world you have created. _

_This work, "To Hold On or Let Go", is provided by the author (me) for public entertainment, and not for profit._

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To Hold On or Let Go

It was done...

Finished...

Gone...

The Reapers back door had been sealed, their puppets burned, their mutated tools broken.

...But still that wasn't enough...

"Commander! Wake up! NOW!" Shrilled EDI.

El'Jaid woke to blaring sirens, her cabin a deep bloody red, above her through the widow she saw explosions, flashes of light, and debris flying all around...

She leaped out of her bed and ran for the elevator. _What hell could be happening?_ Her head throbbed, her vision blurred. She couldn't remember where they were or what had happened before EDI's call.

The doors opened to fire and smoke. She could hardly see anything. Quickly she ran to the cockpit..

She hit the back of Joker's chair to stop herself. Out of breath she steadied herself, trying to think clearly. The Normandy shook all around her. She looked at the hands on the panel in front of her...

"Joker?"

No answer, and she came around to find Joker slumped in his chair. "JOKER!" She shook him, but his hands slipped away. He was gone.

"EDI? Status report! What the hell is happening?"

The glowing blue orb appeared next to her. "Shepard, I am currently tasked to capacity. We have multiple hostiles in all quadrants and I'm currently fighting over 100,000 AI attacks per second to our systems. Weapons are off line, main power is offline, shields are down to 10%..."

El'Jaid opened the front shutters. As they peeled away before her, she saw nothing but annihilation. The Normandy heaved as it dove away from debris of a ship breaking up. Reapers of all sizes were tearing in to the fleet around her, but they weren't Alliance, or Citadel ships...yet she felt that she had seen them before...

She went for the comms panel and opened up a channel.

"Watch your flank! Watch your Fla..." The speaker blared.

An entire flight of fighters screamed past Normandy's screen, all out of control. A pack of Oculus trailing them.

Below a dreadnaught broke in two as another killing machine just ran thought it as if it were a snow bank.

"... cannot be stopped...They cannot be stopped!" The speaker screamed.

But what she saw next, she could not describe the ice that struck her. Before her, at the head of the crumbling fleet she saw the Hagalaz. The Shadow broker's ship...Liara's ship...

She jammed her finger on the transmitter. "Liara! Its El'Jaid...can you hear me?" Her eyes were wild as she saw the Ships flanking the Hagalaz falling away, and the reapers coursing in like sharks to spilt blood. "Liara answer me GOD DAMN IT!"

"Transceivers are down, I have multiple hull breaches on decks 2, 5, and 6, my firewalls are failing" EDI replied in an uncomfortable sterile voice. She was losing the ship, and all El'Jaid could do was watch.

"Don't fall back! Hold your ground! The Normandy may have been lost but Don't Fall Back! OPEN FIRE!"

It was Liara screaming commands as the Hagalaz opened up on the marauding swarm. It's fire power looked the like of an eruption of a volcano mixed with the ferocity of a hurricane. It blotted out stars and was staggering to behold. But all that firepower, all the energy, was just batted away like water against rock as the Reapers kept coming.

It was all over...

_Our numbers will darken the skies..._

Before her eyes El'Jaid saw a massive Reaper grasp a Liara's ship. It wrapped it's tentacle legs around it and tore opens it's hull. Then the Reaper fired it's weapons into the ship. Like a predator killing its prey.

She couldn't scream...she was frozen...

Her head was spinning, she couldn't gain any understanding of what was happening, How had they been so badly routed, no...obliterated. How had it come to this?

"Shepard...they are through, I can't keep control!" Shrieked EDI, and the blue orb died away. The power cut out, and the ship began to feel like a crypt.

"I told you Shepard that you had lost, that you were fighting a war that you cannot win or survive." A cold familiar voice of a Turian came behind her. She heard a click of a pistol's safety and she whirled around, to draw her own.

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She awoke in her cabin, drenched in sweat, her head throbbing, her right hand shaking as it held out a small pistol pointing towards the elevator.

_..Another dream. No a nightmare..._

She gasped for breath as she dropped the weapon on to her bed and cradled her head in her hands, gasping for breath. She looked over and saw it was 4am on her clock.

"Shepard are you alright?" The blue glow of EDI lighting up the room only matched by the fish tank on the wall.

"Yea...Yes EDI, I'm fine." She said weakly as she rubbed her face. "Are you spying on me again?" Growled El'Jaid her voice raw as she rolled out of bed rolling her neck to work out the kinks.

"Oh course not, it was Dr. Chalkwas and Dr. Solus who recommended that I keep a auditory observer program tied to your cabin ever since our return back from the Omega 4 relay. Perhaps you should see them..."

El'Jaid rubbed her temples and ran her hand through her sweat soaked hair. " No that won't be necessary, it was just a bad dream.." she retorted.

"Which keeps happening..." the AI smartly remarked. "But as you wish Shepard. Logging you out." EDI then disappeared.

"...keeps happening..." El'Jaid thought. She went to the bath room and quickly poured a small bowl of water and took two pain killers.

_They were Prothean..._ She thought remembering the ships from her dream. She had dreamed of a Prothean fleet being devoured by the Reapers. She still couldn't make out the planet in her vision. She shivered at the thought of seeing the Hagalaz broken...the thought of losing Liara...

...Liara...

She climbed in to the hot shower and tried to clean the dream away.

Three years now. Three years since Eden Prime, just a month since destroying the Collectors. She wondered if she was losing her own humanity, her own sanity. She had died, yet here she was. She looked in to the mirror of the shower, water pouring down her ashen face, the scars glowing faintly but visibly, her emerald almond eyes having a slight red glow to them.

_...Would it be enough..._ she thought. She had saved the Rachni, the Council, and returned the heretic Geth to the collective. Yet when she had the chance to possibly use the Reaper's own weapons and technologies against them; she instead destroyed it.

_..never compromise who you are...isn't that right dad?_ She wondered if it would be enough to stem the typhoon that was coming.

She left the bath room in a red robe and she sat down at her desk. Before her, the terminal snapped to operation and before she saw her report that she had been compiling for the Council. The Prothean Orb hummed away blissfully on the table just past her desk, though it provided little comfort.

She had been working on the report for over a week. She had never been officially asked to file a report, but she was still a Specter, and she felt that she may as well keep the Council informed and at least the lines of communication open. Besides they needed to know what had happened, and what was coming, even if they didn't believe her...

...There was also the issue of Vasir's death, a fellow Specter.

_Operative Vasir was KIA by operatives of the Shadow Broker. She died while defending an innocent bystander from harm..._ The convenient thing about being a Specter was being able to 'bend the rules'. She didn't need to explain how Vasir had really died. Besides the Council could not know who the Shadow Broker is, it was all apart of the game...

How could El'Jaid explain that she had killed Vasir in order to protect Liara, and help her in quest for revenge against the Shadow broker...

to help her become the Shadow broker...

Liara...

_A Game. A game has pawns in it doesn't it. Am I nothing but a pawn to be used? Am I even here anymore? Alive?_

El'Jaid looked over to her desk and she saw Liara's picture, the same picture she had taken on the first Normandy which felt like a life time ago, the picture she had looked at before suiting up to take out the Collectors. Liara looked so innocent, happy, perfect.

_It was a life time ago._ She mused sourly.

Next to her picture laid a tablet and a stylus. El'Jaid looked on the screen. Over and over again was a incomplete letter, she noticed the last few entries were in Prothean. _Am I even human anymore?_ She thought. Ever since receiving the Cipher on Feros and the three visions burned in to her brain by Prothean beacons, she had a complete understanding of an Alien race, an understanding only shared by being one of them. Yet she was not Prothean.

She angrily struck the entries from the pad and started fresh. Making sure to use galactic basic.

_Dearest Liara..._

_Dear Liara..._

_To Dr. T'Soni..._

_..._

_To the Shadow Broker..._

She threw the tablet and stylus on the desk frustrated at not being able to convey her thoughts in written from...

Where could she begin on how she felt?

It had been two years for Liara, but just months for her. When she saw Liara again on Illium, Liara had changed. Gone was the shy, bookish doctor who had won her soul. Now she had been replaced by a force El'Jaid knew all to well. It was powerful, driven, and terrifying.

_I am the butcher of Torfan, the Savior of the Citadel, the Destroyer of Reapers..._ she thought, and knew that what she saw in Liara was a small reflection of herself...

A reflection that made El'Jaid sick...

_That is not her..._

...For a moment El'Jaid remembered when they first met again in Liara's office on Illium. When she had seen her again Liara had rushed forward to greet her. In the kiss El'Jaid saw the Liara she knew. The kind, shy angel that had awoken her. But it did not last long, nothing ever does on Illium is seemed.

She walked through her memory of helping Liara deal with the shadow broker. El'Jaid saw all to easily, that Liara was feeding off her thirst for revenge; and she had helped her. She didn't know what else to do...

But maybe Liara had not changed so much after all. El'Jaid remembered her Asari after the Shadow Broker had been defeated. Shaking, sobbing, as if all the pieces of her terrible armor were falling away. She remembered taking Liara in to her arms and embracing her to comfort her, she remembered the softness of her lips as Liara pressed in to kiss her.

El'Jaid smiled thinly remembering how embarrassed Liara had looked as she stumbled over her self apologizing. Yet she had just wrapped her arms around Liara again and pulled her in. But it was not a kiss of pure love. It was a selfish act on both their parts; out of passion and desperation...

_I was not planning on coming back..._ El'Jaid mused. Tears pooled at the edges of her almond emerald eyes.

She hadn't felt this way in what seemed to her a life time ago...ever since seeing her parents killed on Mindior. She felt as powerless, and confused sitting there at her desk as she had been as slavers swarmed over her colony, her home.

She barred her teeth as a flash of anger poured through her at a memory. She had finally gotten 'closure', if it could even really be called that, at Torfan.

The leaders responsible for that raid. The Bastards who had destroyed her family, her life. She had crushed them. She had them on their knees begging for her forgiveness, and she just pulled the trigger. It didn't matter that she had given the orders to storm their bunker. That when her people had told her to pull out that she ordered them to stand their ground. That they had died because of her orders. It didn't matter because she wanted to make those Bastards pay!

_I am the Butcher of Torfan. But it wasn't enough was it_...she growled in her mind.

But it didn't matter what people called her, how they treated her with cold cruel isolation out of fear of her. Because after Mindior she had no feelings for anyone, anything, except revenge...until her.

"Revenge marks you in ways you can't ever understand Liara..." She spoke aloud, with grief on her voice. She reached for Liara's picture again.

Liara had been the first person El'Jaid had grown to truly care for beyond her family. She couldn't explain it, but Liara had been the first person she had ever been attracted to. Liara had been the first to get past El'Jaid's wall. Liara wasn't afraid of the Butcher of Torfan, rather it had intrigued her all the more. Liara was only person she had shared herself with...

Her thoughts drifted back to their last kiss before she left Liara. It too had been selfish kiss, a desperate kiss, a farewell kiss. Her head was throbbing and her vision was blurred. She shook her head as tears started to stream down her face.

"What a stupid, selfish move! I can't have this, its not mine to have... I don't deserve it..."

Then blackness took her.


	2. Chapter 2

Liara bolted upright, in her bed. She rested her head on her hand as she thought of the dream that was quickly fading..

...More like a memory...

_Was that a memory?_ She mused as she turned it over in her mind. Her throat felt dry and raw.

_How could I have been so foolish..._ she thought sourly with tears rolling down her face as her mind carried her away to just two months before...

Her chest heaved as her lungs screamed for air. Her eyes roved over her omni tool as is displayed the information that was confined to the small data disk.

Finally she had an answer.

For two years revenge had been her every thought, her sustenance, her life. But it had all changed with in a night. Now her calling was rescue...

And there was only one person in the whole Universe that had made it possible...

Liara noticed movement in the peripheral of her vision and looked up. El'Jaid Shepard strode into the torn apart hotel suite .

"Vasir is dead." Shepard said icily.

Liara cast her eyes to the side. The Shadow Broker had used his own Council Specter to try to stop her. Vasir had killed Sekat, the Salarian who was completely innocent of anything, because of the data Liara now had. Vasir had even tried using a hostage as a human shield to escape.

Liara, like the Shadow Broker, had used her own personal Council Specter to get the information back. Her eyes looked up to Shepard. "I have the Shadow Broker's location. I can upload it to the Normandy and we can be there in a few hours."

"Good." Is all that Shepard said. The Commander looked over to her Turian compatriot. "Garrus, radio the shuttle to pick us up." She continued to walk past both Liara and Garrus, her pace quickening.

Liara shivered slightly. Shepard had always been a risk taker and ruthless, but she had become more so. Shepard hadn't given it a second thought when she wounded Vasir's hostage to continue her own pursuit. As the woman cried out in pain Shepard had simply said, "You'll live." Her abilities had also changed in a disturbing manner. Liara had just watched as Shepard serenely walked by Shadow Broker troopers as their amour crumbled and their lives coursed away, and flowed in to Shepard giving her renewed strength and stamina. Liara had known that powerful Asari Matriarchs had the ability to Reave, but she had never witnessed it. The effect was terrifying for her to behold.

Then there were Shepard's eyes. As she had looked at her, Liara saw that one eye glowed with a faint red, the other a somber icy blue. _What is this being?_ She spoke silently to herself.

Liara chased after Shepard to try to catch her. She needed to talk with her, needed to try to explain...

"Shepard. Can you stop for a moment?" Liara asked.

Shepard continued to march forward, her hands closed in to fists.

Liara ran to catch her, grabbing her by the arm. "El'Jaid please! Just stop!"

Shepard stopped and turned to look at her. Shepard's eyes piercing right through her.

"Why? Do you need me to hack some terminals?" Her voice was venom.

The verbal strike had it's effect on Liara as her face crashed in to sadness. "That's not fair! You...you were dead. I had to try to move on, I had to try to make some kind of a life for myself! You...you were gone..." She left her hand fall away from Shepard.

Shepard's face twisted in to a snarl. And she thrusted a thumb to her own chest. "But I came back Liara!"

Liara's own fire took hold of her, heat radiated through her face and she found herself fighting to control her outrage. "Yes you came back! But I've had to move on! I've made mistakes! I have a debt to repay! I'm not you! I can't wave a magic wand and make everything perfect! I've spent the past two years mourning you! I...I don't...I can't go through that again!" Liara turned her back and looked through the hotel suite's glass window back at the devastated vista before her.

_It reminds me too much of the last two years_... she thought as her heart sank.

Shepard shivered with anger. She walked over to the banister and gripped it. The Morning sun was just starting to rise, but her head was down. Liara could tell she was smoldering.

How could Liara try to explain her position? She felt sick like she had been twisted and torn in to two then slammed back together. Like a gruesome Jackal and Hyde. The part of her that had been asleep, that so desperately just wanted to rescue Feron and nothing more was dealing with the thoughts and memories of this vengeful..._thing_...that had supplanted it. How could she explain to El'Jaid that she was not the same person she was?

Shepard spoke again, but her voice was quiet, controlled. "I died Liara, to me, the past two years have been just a few months. The last thing I remember before I died was you, and first thing I thought of when I woke up again...was you."

The icy words swept through Liara. The realization of how selfish she had been. In both being so angry not to see how her own thirst for revenge had twisted her, and in the ugly fact that she had used El'Jaid for her own motives. She went to reach for Shepard's shoulder but pulled back as Shepard turned to face her.

Both of Shepard's irises were now roiling red. "Tell me Liara, again, why was I brought back? If you wanted to move forward, to move on from me. Why did YOU give me to Cerberus. I'm not a savior, not a god, not a miracle worker. I'm just me! I fuck up everyday! Am I just a tool to be used by everyone? A lamb for the slaughter to stop the Collectors and the Reapers to save a galaxy full of idiots who won't listen? Is that all that I am? It that the reason why?" Shepard flipped back around towards the banister as her rage left her to look out at the rolling megalopolis before her.

A brief silence sliced through the air between them. Liara's head was spinning trying to recollect the purposes and reasons why she had stolen Shepard's body from the Shadow Broker. The same reasons, purposes...no excuses, which had steered her life for the past two years...

"Shepard...I.." She tried to speak but Shepard spun around and cut her off.

"You never ONCE tried to reach me! You knew I was back, yet I had to learn where you were; that you were even alive, by _Cerberus_!" El'Jaid's face twisted with distain at speaking the name of the organization hat had brought her back.

Liara felt that she had just been cut deeply, that her heart had just been torn out.

"I couldn't..." Is all Liara could say.

"YOU COULD HAVE TRIED!" Shepard yelled. Shepard heaved as her rage left her.

Liara couldn't speak as Shepard's words had hammered any air she had in her lungs. She was defeated, beaten and scorned. It was finally out in the open, that terrible line that neither of them wanted to acknowledge but both couldn't deny.

Shepard walked towards Liara and stood next to her. Shepard's shoulders slumped forward and she looked exhausted. Liara saw that her eyes were now a deathly pale blue. "You said that you brought me back because you couldn't let me go... Well what is the verdict Doc? Why am I here? What is my purpose?" She had her hand up to her head. Liara could tell that Shepard was in pain, but from what Liara couldn't tell.

Liara couldn't look at her again and just stared off to space. Shepard waited for her to answer. The stillness of the air around them was suffocating.

"El...I..." Liara tried to speak, but Shepard just held up her hand as she listened to her radio. Then looked at her not wanting to hear an answer. Time was up.

"C'mon. The shuttle is here..." Shepard finished dryly, and they both walked silently to the shuttle, both diminished, and wounded.

The present moment rushed back around Liara and she found her self pulled back to reality with the sheets twisted around her arms and her face slick with her tears.

"Oh Goddess why was I such a fool?" She sobbed in to her hands. Her chest ached from the sobbing. She hadn't cried like this since Shepard's death, and it hurt even worse since Liara had pushed her away again.

She looked up to see the glass case that still held El'Jaid's old amour resting in the corner of her room. It had been the first item she had retrieved from her old apartment on Illium. She got up and walked over to the case, the bed sheet wrapped around her like a cloak. She placed a hand on the glass over where El'Jaid's heart would have been if she were there.

_You were always my protector...even if I didn't need or want one..._ She mused. _Yet I couldn't...I wasn't willing...to protect you..._

"Liara. Don't do this. Please!" El'Jaid spoke her voice stern but pleading.

Liara had just taken up the mantle of the Shadow Broker as El'Jaid had tried in vain to draw her away. Liara knew that she was also saying; _don't become like me. Don't become the object which you have hunted._

"But I can use this...WE can use this... to help you stop the Collectors, the Reapers or..." She stopped.

"We don't need this! You don't need this! Lets just crash this thing and get out of here! Liara please!" El'Jaid in earnest. Liara could tell that El'Jaid couldn't stand being on the Hagalaz. It was a dark ship, one of secrets, torment and sin. The roar of the everlasting squall line didn't help to alleviate the broodingly sinister atmosphere.

"But I can make it better." Liara said distracted as her hands skittered across the console. Her eyes roving over the mounds of information that flickered past on the titanic display.

El'Jaid rushed for her arm and turned Liara to face her. "You can't! There is nothing good that can come from this!" There were tears in her emerald eyes, her pupils an imploring blue.

"I have to try..." Liara said resting her hand on El'Jaid's.

El'Jaid didn't let go. She looked in to Liara's eyes, peering in to their depths. Liara peered back in to El'Jaid's eyes that were alight in blizzard blue and she could only see a heart wrenching sadness there. El'Jaid pulled her and Liara together and wrapped her arms around Liara. She forcefully planted a last salutation on Liara's lips, and Liara returned in kind. The embrace was hungry as it was empty, as ardent as it was cold.

El'Jaid broke the kiss, turned and began to walk towards the control room's door. Liara watched transfixed as she neared the portal.

"Come back to me...when its over..." Liara called out wanting to run after El'Jaid. But she was riveted to her place by the console.

El'Jaid turned around and looked back at her with her piercing emeralds. "I can't make that promise Angel..." Then the door slammed cutting them apart.

Liara's heart again heaved with sorrow as her eyes again fixed on to the rented and split armor in the case. Her hand slid from the glass and she came crashing down in front of the case looking up at it.

She had wanted to run after El'Jaid to stand along side her again. But she couldn't do it. She had started to tell herself even as soon as El'Jaid had left, that being the Shadow Broker was a dream job. She had all that information she could ever want, all the resources any one could possibly ever need. She could ignite wars, and quell uprisings with in moments. All of it at her finger tips, all the power of information in her grasp. Yet it was just a comforting lie; an excuse.

The real reason was that she couldn't stand to be near El'Jaid. Here was the one woman whom she loved, yet had nearly failed, twice. And scorned away because of her need for revenge.

_Why did I let her go? I didn't deserve her help... _She thought scornfully. She got up and started to dress choosing just a simple black jumpsuit, as she dressed her thoughts again stole her away to a month ago...

Her hand pressed the answer button from an agent. It had been a call she had been waiting for, the one she had been dreading.

"Yes? What is it?" She spoke in to the transceiver doing her best to keep her voice calm, business like, and impartial.

"Shadow Broker, the Omega 4 Relay has been activate by the Normandy SR2. Its gone." The Agent said.

"I see. Keep to standard operating procedures, but notify me the minuet the relay is activated again, or that you see the Normandy again."

"Understood." The Agent said.

Liara had heard nothing saying that it had activated since, or that El'Jaid's ship had reappeared. El'Jaid was gone, she had left her... and Liara had just let it happen. She had let the love of her life slip through her fingers.

She finished getting dressed, trying desperately to dry her tears. She couldn't have Feron or anyone else see her as an emotional wreck. Once she was sure she had calmed her self enough she walked out to the Control room. _Time to start the day..._ she mused bitterly.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shepard! We need your help over here!" It was Garrus pinned down behind a wall.

El'Jaid ran to Garrus' side and ducked as a sniper took a shot. "Garrus what's going on!"

"What do you mean? Where in the hell have you been?" There was fire in his eyes..

She was confused, the throbbing in her head was still there from before, "Garrus I don't know where..."

"The team's dead! They are all dead because of you!" He quickly popped up and took a shot at a husk that was running towards them. It crashed head first into the ground, but the howls of an army chased behind it...

"What? No!" El'Jaid couldn't believe it. Garrus popped up to take another shot. Then everything around her was moving in slow motion. All she saw was a burst of light. Next to her Garrus fell to his knees, his rifle slipping from his hand, a hole through his chest.

"... Shepard...Liara...I'm sorry..." Is all he could say before his eyes dimmed.

El'Jaid reached out but before she could touch him, two slavers took her; dragging her away...

_...Your worlds will be dust..._

They propped her up and all around her she saw Reapers landing, vaporizing every building, home, person they saw. She saw Collectors dragging screaming people away. Slavers butchering women and children in the street.

"El!" An angels voice called to her, and before her she saw Liara, broken and bruised tied to a dragons teeth. Synthetics flanking her...

"Oh GOD NO!" El'Jaid screamed and she struggled to reach for Liara. She wouldn't let her become one of them, SHE WOULDN'T. But the slavers kicked her to her knees, one belting her in the stomach making her gag.

"You failed Shepard..." Liara said tears streaming down her bruised and bloody face "You failed me..."

A slaver grabbed El'Jaid's hair making her watch. The spire activated and impaled the only thing in the galaxy that meant anything to her...

All she could do was scream...

"Dr Chalkwas, Mordin? I need you in the med bay now!" It was Garrus storming through the comm link.

El'Jaid woke in the medbay, strapped to a table. Light assaulted her vision and her head throbbed in pain. But she was alive.

...It was another dream, another terrifying dream...

Dr. Chalkwas rushed over and flashed a light in to her eyes. "I think she's ok, lets undue the restraints." Garrus helped the doctors untie El'Jaid from the table, and take out the IVs.

"wha...what happened?" El'Jaid stammered, barely able to think, her head beating like a drum.

"We're not sure Shepard. Garrus was concerned about you. He went up to check on you, he found you collapsed on the floor." Chalkwas relayed as she flipped through a data pad.

Mordin flashed his omni tool at El'Jaid. " Humm. High levels of adrenaline, extreme mood swings, hormonal imbalance, mental capacity strain. All heavy signs of PTSD, and something else." he sniffed. "Not surprising given mental and physical strain. Harbinger even tried to take control of you through your cybernetics. Didn't work, wouldn't have worked, but just goes to prove how desperate Harbinger was. What is surprising is your dream cycle. Out for three days, extreme rapid eye movement. Talking, not gibberish, but coherent connected sentences. Some parts understandable, others not known. Liara a continual topic in one form or another. Sleep cycle effectively disrupted, no...destroyed..."

"What Mordin is trying to say is that, you have really been out of it Shepard. What's happening?" Garrus asked in a consoling voice.

"I... I don't know.." El'Jaid offered as a dodge..."Harbinger tried to control me?"

"Humm yes, I kept track of it's commands through out the mission, tried to directly disrupt you. After you had destroyed the 'human-reaper' by destroying the tube links, Harbinger tried to overpower you..." Mordin said with his head cocked to one side.

"I remember you looked like you were fighting something as the collectors continued to attack us in waves. You were pretty disoriented, Tali and I helped you hold them off before the base started to come down around us." Garrus said with his arms across his chest.

El'Jaid shook her head trying to remember." I remember the Human-reaper coming back up and attacking with the Collectors and Harbinger after we had dropped it the first time..."

"Shepard, that thing never came back to attack us..." Garrus said.

"But I kept hearing Harbinger talk to me, and that Reaper came back." Certainty was on her voice, and Garrus said nothing in return.

"Humm, interesting. Perhaps similar to the experience you had while dealing with Project Overlord? Still, does not explain what is happening to you Shepard. Harbinger's attempts did not trigger what you are dealing with" Mordin said.

"Maybe seeing this will help us understand." Dr. Chalkwas interjected as she pulled up a recording of El'Jaid thrashing around on the table. She was a sleep, but she wasn't...

"Don't Go! Jenkin's! Stay back! Montoya, don't do it! Don't listen to me damn it! They are too well fortified! NO!" El'Jaid straining against the restrains, the ties barely holding her. They were meant to hold down Grunt.

Chalkwas keyed another recording. " Williams, I'm sorry I was weak. I couldn't just let Saren go... I should have let him go. Get to the shuttles! They are coming. THEY'ER COMING" It was El'Jaid screaming, but in Prothean.

"Liara...where ar...I need you...so cold..." El'Jaid was shivering on the table, a blanket over her and Garrus by her side, but he couldn't understand any of it...

El'Jaid twisted at she heard and saw the recordings, she put her hands over her ears as the chill of not knowing what was going on had started to pervade her every sense.

"Back off! She's ready to snap!" It was Joker over the comms.

_Nice to know he cares..._ El'Jaid thought.

"You Docs don't get it! Oh it wouldn't possibly have anything to do with being told that it's her responsibility to stop an advance race of Boogiemen from kidnapping Colonists, who just happen work for giant machines who just want to harvest everything off the face of the galaxy."

" By the way, at the same time also having to build up a small army of Dirty Dozen misfits to do it, all the while dealing with having been dead for two years and a Shadow organization that may or may not being trying to get you killed! Yeah no stress, its just a wonderful walk in the park!"

_That's good old Joker for you..._ She mused.

El'Jaid pushed back on to the table and rested her head against the wall. The whole Medbay was quiet.

"Parts of it were in Prothean.." El'Jaid said finally. The whole bay, Chalkwas, Mordin, Garrus, and Kelly just stared at her.

"Prothean? But...How?" Garrus asked. For once Mordin was silent.

El'Jaid smirked. "C'mon Garrus remember Feros when I gained the cipher? That and I've ran in to three beacons." Garrus's mandibles twitched. His mouth open.

Mordin began pacing back and forth "Humm makes more sense now. Information was not 'learned' but assimilated, made apart of her. Subconscious was thinking as human, but with Prothean knowledge before death.. Not 'hard' biology, but mental processes. One mind looking at the same object at the same time but varying points of view, this object being her 'life' as she lived before her death. Mind now trying to process 'old' life with both Human and Prothean thought processes. Issue compounded by how Cerberus 'rebuilt you,. Humm, EDI please call Operative Lawson to the medbay."

"Oh course Dr. Solus." EDI replied serenely.

A whisper of smoke drifted in the room as ice cold eyes bore in to her. But she didn't flinch, didn't cower under their gaze. She knew she was right. She knew this was the only way. But she felt sweat start to bead on her brow.

The figure in the chair shifted his weight and took another drag off the cigarette. The smoke streamed from his mouth as he set back.

"Are you certain this is the only way." He said casually, but he demeanor was anything but casual.

"Yes." She quipped.

His eyes narrowed on her. He wanted more than a yes. He wanted a guarantee.

"Basic organic reconstruction won't be enough. Organs and bones can be grown, and rebuilt, but without the procedure all that Lazerus will have will be a vegetable. Useless. The procedure can accelerate the process."

Her statue was solid, unmovable.

But he was not impressed.

"And how do you know that the procedure wouldn't go and create another Grayson? He was a killer. She would be unstoppable." He said. Miranda could have swore that his eyes had gotten brighter. She knew her next words would have to be chosen carefully if she wanted her project to succeed.

" The Grayson experiment was...reactionary in scope." She said.

The figure sat back in his chair a scowl forming on his face. "Define reactionary."

"We wanted to see what Reaper technology would do _to_ a living being. There was no end goal to see what the technology, if repurposed, could do _for_ a living being." She said.

His features softened somewhat. "But Lawson, you project isn't dealing with a living person. What is your interest in the procedure?"

"The procedure can accelerate the recovery process. The directive for the Lazerus project is to bring the subject back exactly who she was before the attack. The process can do that. It can take the brain scan and reprint the subject's mind. It can reform her vocal cords to the exact tone, it can help reshape her body to how it was before it died..." She said in the long stream of thought. She could have continued, but once against the figure's gaze was steeled against her.

"And what makes you think that the procedure can do that? What makes you think that it won't try to over take her?" He said, his words like acid.

"Based on the findings from operation Lightwatch. A subset of the technology was actually reported to be beneficial, and benign to organics..." She started out again.

"Operation Lightwatch doesn't exist Operative Lawson!" The figure barked.

She smile inwardly to herself. Operation Lightwatch had been cell assigned to dissect the alien technology. An 'accident' had occurred were all personnel tied to the project had...be terminated. But something had been gained by it.

She stood there. She could see his burning eyes on her. She could tell that he wanted nothing more than to possibly shoot her. She was wasn't going to cower, she wasn't going to show him that was could be weakened. She knew she was right. She knew with out the procedure, Lazerus would fail, and humanity would fall with out it.

The fire seemed to subside from his eyes as he spoke again. "Operative Lawson. Your request is granted. Any findings on the procedure will be forwarded directed to you, and you alone." And he took another drag from the lit cigarette.

"Thank you sir." She said.

"Also, I hope you are not making a habit of fabrication. Such false pretenses, such as looking for information about an Operation that never existed, will not help you in your objective." He said as he exhaled the smoke from his mouth.

"No sir. It was...just something I heard..." Said responded.

"Don't listen to hearsay. It will get you killed operative."

"I understand." She responded. "Am I dismissed?"

"Yes." He breathed.

She turned on her heal and started to walk out of the room, but he called out to her again.

"Director. Two things though before you go."

She stopped and turned back towards him, her hands behind her back. "Yes?"

"First. Keep in mind to call the subject by name. We are not building some faceless, nameless object. Don't treat her that way." He said calously.

_Am I being replaced?_ He mind asked. "And the second thing?"

"Be mindful of what your creating, Director. We want the best that humanity has to offer, not the augur of it's doom."

She swallowed hard. "I understand." She turned back around and walked out of the room.

"Miss Lawson." An emotionless voice called.

Miranda gave a silent start as she was brought back from her memory.

"Miss Lawson." The voice said again. It was EDI who 'stood' on her projector looking at Miranda.

"Yes...Yes EDI what is it?" Miranda said shakily.

"Shepard is awake, and Dr. Solus would like you to come to the medical bay at once." EDI responded without concern.

Miranda swallowed hard, trying to wet her suddenly parched throat. Part of her only wanted to stay where she was. Ever since Shepard had collapsed days ago she feared what was going on. She was terrified that his fears would be proven right. That her project had indeed failed. She needed to see this creature for herself.

"I will be there shortly." She said, and the blue orb vanished.

A few moments later Miranda came walking in. "Yes Mordin? How is Shepard feeling?"

"Dazed, confused having to merge two identities, two lives. One mind processes as Human, other mind processes as Prothean, trying to become one, but effects are creating mental shear zones, one trying to overtake the other, but neither winning. Harbinger's 'hacking' attack created more instability." Mordin paced back and forth looking at Miranda.

"I knew it..." Miranda scowled. She Looked down at the ground and slammed her back against the wall. _I knew the procedure wouldn't be able to take it..._

El'Jaid growled, "What do you mean you knew it?"

Miranda massaged her forehead with her hand. "It s a result of how we rebuilt you Shepard. We ... Cerberus... tried many experimental techniques. Just getting your body back together was a challenge given all that we had to go on was a pile of flash frozen charred flesh and bits of bone. "

Miranda started pacing back and forth remembering the two year process it took. _I can't tell her everything. Not when everyone can hear it. _

"But the difficult aspect was your mind. Your brain was relatively intact, and it was made whole by use of some cybernetics; but how we could rebuild it and 'it' be you and not someone, or something else was the challenge."

El'Jaid look down in to her lap. She just wanted to scream.

"Shepard...Cerberus... took a copy of your mind just days before your ...accident..."

"Wait... what?" El'Jaid shot Miranda a confused look.

"Just before you headed out where the Normandy was attacked you stopped at an Alliance base for supplies. You were ordered to have a standard long term medical evaluation that took two days."

El'Jaid remembered. The lead doctor assured her that is just standard precaution to check for any conditions that may have arisen due to her battle against Saren and Sovereign at the Citadel.

"Part of the process involved a prototype brain scanner that was designed to capture and copy mental history, identity, long term memory; basically, your mind."

El'Jaid was shocked for a moment. _All I am is a copy?_ She thought. "Wha...then how do I remember what happened with the collector attack? Was that just programmed in to me?"

"No!" Miranda said seeing what El'Jaid was pointing to. "Your brain was in nearly prefect condition. As it turned out, Cerberus found that the brain's storage capability for short term memories is extremely robust. All Cerberus did was back fill from there."

El'Jaid let out a sigh of relief, _...at least I'm not a clone..._ She mused..

"But with it being a prototype technology and only designed to work with a completely human mind ... It was thought there could be complications. The Illusive man wanted to make sure these complications would be kept to an extreme minimum which is why I wanted to do more testing with you before you first met the Illusive man. To make sure the image of you fully took hold." Miranda was still pacing back and forth, almost furious at herself as if she had failed in her assignment to make Shepard exactly the woman she was before the attack. _I knew using the technology was a gamble...and it failed!_

"But as we both know, even the best laid plans are wasted by a mech attack..."

El'Jaid was not liking what she was hearing. "So basically what your telling me is that I'm slowly losing my mind, that I'm wasting away."

Miranda stopped. The thought had occurred to her. But she brushed it aside like she had before. She put her fist on her hip." No. If that was the case, the signs of mental dementia would have already taken place long before now. Besides as far as your body goes, who knows how long you will live. Your bones heal and repair in days, and your cells are constantly replacing themselves. In a basic sense you shouldn't die from old age."

Garrus, Chalkwas, and Kelly all just looked, wide-eyed.

El'Jaid half smiled. "So I'm a modern day Achilles right?" She was trying to take things to a more 'sane' field. But then again she always did have a slight case of 'foot in mouth' syndrome...

"If she starts parting the great Sea, or trying to "convert the infidels", EDI and I call shotgun on the first escape pod!" Joker remarked...

Miranda shook her head and rolled her eyes...

Mordin started walking back and forth.

"Humm, possibly since brain was a blank slate, and was quickly 'back-filled' with information in place of memories, its now trying to merge the two 'mind's fully as one. Before human mind just simply 'enveloped' Prothean mind and used it as 'knowledge' but now the brain is seeing two viable mind images. Trying to connect old Human mind with Prothean mind, and new experiences based on both minds points of view. Humm. Have seen similar cases of split personalities with exposure to high levels of Element Zero, radiation. and biotic implants, usually in what Humans call L2s. But those cases were due to mental instability, rather then in your case brain trying to 'stabilize' the mind. Also have seen cases similar in Asari 'melding' which could intensi..." Mordin stopped. "Commander... Shepard...as a Doctor to patient...have you ever..."

"This discussion is over Mordin." El'Jaid raised her hands up. She had never kept her relationship, or interest in Liara a secret and she heard the rumors surrounding her and Liara, but they kept their private life, well... private.

Chalkwas looked at Mordin, stunned." What on earth are you talking about Mordin?"

"Humm, oh, not on Earth, on Normandy... but that's beside the point." Mordin cleared his throat.

"Asari reproduction and sexual practices are incredibly complex and highly misunderstood. Procreation is a form of parthenogenesis, or natural cloning. Earth's Komodo dragons and Hammerhead sharks have similar ability. Asari mono-gendered species, but still need a partner to procreate. Asari can reproduce with any species, and any gender of a species, believe that reproduction with another species is beneficial to advance growth and understanding as a species. Asari also have extremely long life spans. More apt to join with many partners over life span. This idea, of having varied experiences, viewpoints, a wider view of 'world' heavily entrenched in Asari religious, and lifestyle customs. Also has a negative impact on other species viewpoint of Asari. Seen as promiscuous, uncaring, hedonistic... "

"Mordin, can you get to the point... I feel like I'm back in health and geography class. Not a real great time in my life." Replied Joker. Garrus scoffed while having a hand over his face, obviously the feeling was mutual.

"Humm? Oh right! In any case, Asari procreate by 'Melding' with partners. Effectively both partner's nervous systems combine in to one, 'minds' intertwined and shared. Both see, and feel each other and themselves. It is during this that the Asari explores the genetic code of their partner. Much deeper then simply joining of minds to transfer thought and ideas. The meld transfers experiences, culture, life. This meld may or may not involve sexual contact, but still require physical touch to attune nervous systems together. Is seen to be life changing for some..."

_Life changing...more like life altering. _El'Jaid thought.

"Wait a second... I thought all Asari melded with their partners during sexual contact..." Kelly piped up, keenly interested, as always...

"No, no no. Sexual contact is not required, but common during a meld. Nervous systems join through electrical synaptic 'touch' and biotic connection. Not direct sexual interaction. What your referring to would be analogous to self stimulation in this situation. Effective for what it is, but not it."

"By the Spirits, please make him stop..." It was Garrus how was resting a taloned hand across his face. Kelly turned all possible shades of red. Chalkwas stood there with her mouth gaping open.

El'Jaid had her knees tucked around her. _I really hope this end soon._ She thought.

Mordin continued uninterrupted.

" During the 'meld' the Asari effectively marks her partner's mind. Emotional and thought processes mix and transfer. This True Meld bonds the partners together though it may or may not be a permanent union. Its during this time that Asari can 'conceive'. Whether or not the 'father' has any direct effect on the Asari's child is unknown. Doubtful, but belief continues to exist."

Mordin Stopped his pacing then turned directly to El'Jaid.

"But there are 'after effects' of a meld. The life span of these effects depend on how many times the partners melded, and are most evident in the non-Asari Partner, but the transfer also can be evident in the Asari."

"Wait, wha... what kind of 'after effects'?" El'Jaid asked. She leaned forward intently.

"Humm lets see, episodes of intense dreaming, shifting sensory inputs such as feeling of extreme heat or cold in otherwise 'stable' conditions. But 'out of character' moments can also be attributed as well thus explaining the mix and sharing of emotional and thought processes. Mostly there is a sense of a loss of ...connection if the partners go their separate ways. A feeling of not being whole. Signs usually associated to depression. But those are symptoms, which over time subside and would not intensify. But in your case the symptoms seems to be intensifying...if you 'had' such an experience. But irregardless. Your case much more complex." Mordin finally stopped.

_Shit..._ El'Jaid thought wincing. She took a deep breath and steepled her hands. "So what is the prognosis Doc?"

Mordin, blinked thinking.

"Shepard are you saying that you and Liara..." It was Chalkwas, having slightly recovered from shock.

Garrus just stood back. El'Jaid wasn't sure, but she could swear that the smug Turian was smiling...

Mordin started off again." 'If' you 'had' melded with Li...umm...an Asari, your current mental state even more...unstable. Not meaning you were, or are insane or going to be, but rather a lack of knowing 'who' you are. Brain would have been more capable if it had been just the human mind assimilating Prothean 'data' mind, and 'processing' Asari 'meld' experience. Yet now Human mind, and the Prothean mind pose no solid identity, and with the experience of an Asari 'meld', only accentuates the problem. Your brain currently trying to fit pieces together to make one 'identity'.

"So can't Shepard just 'choose' who she wants to be and let be done with it?" Garrus, was getting aggravated by not being able to completely understand what was going on.

Mordin was about to answer when Kelly interjected.

"Maybe I have an idea."

"Alright Kelly lets hear it." El'Jaid rested back.

"Maybe Samara can help you? By joining her mind with yours. It may help 'sort out' things. Isn't that how your gained the Cipher? This is far beyond medical theory, but it may help." Kelley stated.

"Ms. Chambers are you completely insane? How would that help Shepard?" Miranda asked unbelieving.

Kelly put her arms across her in a defensive manner and scowled. "If her 'mind' is confused because it can't filter its memories on its own, perhaps another mind can help."

"There is no documented cases of a meld ever having this kind of an impact on a being I don't think it would be beneficial for the Commander..." Miranda steamed in, but was quickly cut off by Mordin.

"Just like undergraduate at University...Not Listening!"

Miranda shot Mordin a sour look, but he continued regardless.

"What Ms. Chambers is recommending is viable. One mind helping the other to see, to connect experiences. Not surprising Shepard's point of view is not complete. As stated before, a true Meld is one where two minds combine as one. Since this is apart of Shepard before Lazerus, the mind does not know who the pieces are apart of or even where they fit together." He turned towards El'Jaid. "Joining Samara's mind with yours is a viable...option."

"Alright..." El'Jaid said. _I can only get crazier!_ she thought...

Moments later Samara came in. Both Kelly and Mordin, more Mordin then Kelly explained what was going on.

"I see, so Shepard is hu'zen." Samara said softly

"What?" Chalkwas said

"It figuratively means a house divided, but this is more literal." Samara stated.

"Right...So how do we get her to be a house United?" Joker came over the comms.

Samara smile politely," Perhaps I may be able to help you sift and filter through these pieces."

El'Jaid was slightly leery, she had been brain probed by Asari before. Not the most pleasant experience but at this point she was willing to try just about anything. She was tried of feeling split.

"Lets do it."

Samara neared her, her eyes going to a familiar black. "Relax Shepard, reach your mind out to mine. Every memory sends ripple, every thought needs to touch another's mind to live, every emotion must reach another to be understood..."

Time slowed down, and the world around them faded away.

Samara found her self drowning in El'Jaid, and she greedily grabbed Samara in to her mind.

Samara was on Mindoir, seeing her father beaten, then shot. Hearing her mother being raped as she was being choked to death.

She was hiding in the roof of a shed, holding on between the rafters as two slavers looked around. She was praying that their sight would not turn upwards. She heard the chaos outside as the slavers took people, implanting them with control chips into their brains without anesthetic. Corralling and caging them like animals. She saw Alliance ships streaking it, but too few and too late to stop the slavers from taking their prizes. The smell of smoke and chard flesh making her sick.

All of her friends and family gone...

She saw her early days in the Alliance, feeling nothing but a cold detachment at shooting a gun, learning to wield a knife, gaining control over her biotics to crush anything in her way. Commanding troops with cold precision without any hesitation over their lives. All she knew was a hunger for revenge, and a void that could not be filled...

Torfan...

"Lieutenant Shepard. We have intel that suggests the slavers who attacked Mindoir are in the fortified bunker. As such I can understand if you cannot accept the task of clearing out the bunker given your past history." It was Major Kyle...

She accepted the orders without hesitation. "Montoya!, O'Mally! Osuka! Bring in your squads and form up on me!" She marched her whole unit taking sniper fire the whole way, but making sure the dug in slavers paid for every meter until they were inside. Room by room, floor by floor they sweep. The Slavers were dieing in droves, but her unit was being paired down to next to nothing...

"Clear the room out with grenades Montoya!" She commands.

"But there could be hostages!" A Soldier cried.

She pulled her Carnifex on the soldier. She knew that there were no living hostages. If there had been, the slavers would have already tried using them as shields. "Do it, or I'll shoot you and use your grenades myself!"

Finally after a 6 hour battle of attrition the Slaver Leaders tried to surrender.

"Lieutenant, they want to surrender. They are coming out.."

The Leaders came running out, of their hands behind their heads.

"Give them Hell!" El'Jaid screamed. She opened fire on them, tears streaming down her face mixing with the blood seeping from her wounds.

Her remaining soldiers followed suite, too scared to question her. Most of the surviving leaders were cut down and butchered like mad cattle.

The last slaver stopped, and slammed to his knees shaking, but unscathed. He couldn't move, he was riveted with fear as she stalked up on him like the Grim Reaper.

"Wh...Why? We Surrendered..." He asks weakly. She looked at him him, remembered her mother...

She walked behind him. "Surrendered? I didn't hear it..." Her voice was as cold as death itself.

"Pl..Please...have Mercy..." he begged.

She gave him none as she slammed her heal into the back of his head sprawling him out.

The slaver groaned, and he twisted his head to look at her, his face slathered with mud and filth. All he saw in her face was twisted rage and sorrow. She fired her hand cannon at the back of his head. His body slumped back to the ground.

But rather then feeling relief, she felt numb, nothing...

At least she got the job done.

"Admiral, This is Lieutenant Shepard. The compound is cleared, no civilian casualties. All hostiles have been eliminated, with heavy losses to my unit." She said in a calm detached, surreal manner.

The years pass, but the name she was given, the Butcher of Torfan, stayed with her. She always got the job done, no matter the cost...

...till Eden Prime...

The Beacons. Samara was enveloped in to the El'Jaid's Prothean mind, understanding nothing of it, but seeing their entire culture, their way of life from cradle to grave.

Samara kneels down and hears a language she can't understand. She grasps a green rod that has just been presented to her. She takes it with her hand and is told to stand up, and before her is a roaring crowd. The light of hundreds of beacons reaching in to the dusky sky.

Their memories of the Reapers, the Collectors slaughtering people, all fleets smashed, and defenses and places to hide swept away, tore through her. Feeling the torment as she watched her friend and family being torn from her, but rather then enslaved, they were butchered and mutilated, or sealed in to containers to be used for some other darker purpose.

She became the first Human Specter. A great step for the young Human race, and the chase for Saren began...

Samara was then on Virmire. She felt El'Jaid's twisting guilt after lying to Ashley Williams. She said she would be back for her, but knew it wasn't true. She had left another comrade to die, but knew it had to be done...

No matter the cost...

Samara felt that she was crashing down through panes of glass. And as if the crashing would not end, she suddenly stopped. Samara saw in El'Jaid's mind a light where before in her life after Mindior there had been only darkness. She heard a echo.

"I wanted to learn more about you, find out what made you in to the woman you are. You fascinate me Shepard..." She felt a harm hand touch her cold face, and Samara knew. It was Liara. Samara knew something had stirred in El'Jaid, something she had known at one time but had been ripped away.

Love.

Yet before she could fully comprehend the myriad of feelings rushing around her, she was thrown back on to the Normandy. She saw El'Jaid running through the Normandy grabbing Joker and heaving him in to the nearest escape pod before the unknown attacker slit the Normandy apart.

She was blown into space, her armor crushed. Oxygen was quickly leaking out of her suit. She was suffocating. Her air was out, her lungs were crushing as the cold of space seeped in.

Samara mind burned with fear panic, and a desire of just wanting it to end. She was suffocating. She wanted to scream be couldn't. She wanted it to end, but it didn't. The minuets rolled on like centuries as her suite kept pumping medigel and stims in to her to keep her alive.

She saw the sun rise on the planet's horizon as she fell through the void.

Her last thought of Liara...

Liara...

...No more...

It was too much...

Samara was shocked back in to the table behind her.

El'Jaid was looking at her visibly shaken, shivering, ashen...

"What the hell just happened? Are you alright Shepard?" Garrus asked, stunned...

"In...In all of my life..." Samara shockingly said trying to compose a thought of what she had seen.

"Its no wonder how you...Shepard...how can you..." Samara tried to put in to words what she had just seen.

El'Jaid was still shaking, trembling uncontrollably.

"Samara are you ok?" Dr. Chalkwas asked. Mordin stood silently by, not sure what to do.

"Yes...Yes I am fine, the experience was... Commander... Shepard. When we met I knew you were a strong woman... but now I know you..." Samara couldn't finish.

_A force of nature, unbreakable, terrifying, as inspiration, inhuman_...all of these words failed to even come close to describing Shepard.

"I just need to rest..." She finally said defeated.

"Commander? Are you alright, you look worse than before." Kelly said looking worried...

"I'm...I'm fine" El'Jaid said and she meant it. She wasn't sure how, but with Samara acting like a catalyst, the pieces of her mind had come together. She was whole. She was exhausted.

The room emptied and she laid down again, and slept.

She was Commander El'Jaid Shepard, the Butcher of Torfan, Savior of the Citadel, Destroyer of Reapers and the Collectors. She not human, not alien. A Being? She was...She didn't know what she was, but at that moment it didn't matter...

Knowing who she was, was enough.

She just needed time to sleep...


	4. Chapter 4

The day for Liara was finally winding down. Most of her operation teams had reported in, and the others would come in tomorrow. For once the flow of information seemed to taper away.

_Slow day in the office._ She mused, and she continued to work diligently at the console. She was not even aware that the door behind her had opened.

"Liara, are you alright?" The soft voice came from behind her. It was Feron standing in front of the control room door.

Feron handled most of the day to day operations of the Organization. It helped keep his mind off the torture he had been subjected to for the last two years.

In fact the security force on the ship normally referred to him as the Shadow Broker, and paid her no mind, which was fine with Liara. It gave her more time to concentrate on all of the information flowing in, the amount of which continued to ramp up.

"Yes Feron, I'm fine." Her tone was short and distracted.

"Like hell you are." He shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've been chambered in here everyday, and nearly every night for the past month!"

Liara scowled, she didn't need this, especially from him. Not now. "So what am I supposed to do? Just take a holiday?" She said coolly.

"You need a break." He said flatly

"There is no time for a break Feron." She said coolly.

"You can't just burn yourself out." Feron returned.

Liara slammed her hands on the console and turned to face the Drell. She was in no mood to be lectured.

"So what will you have me do Feron? Shepard's gone, and no one else in this entire Galaxy wants to face the truth. The Reapers are coming, and the Collectors with them. No one listened to her; so I have to carry on."

Feron walked closer to her coming in to the middle of the room, the light above him basking his body in an ethereal glow. "So you think your alone in this? Liara I'm right here!"

She got up and stalked away from the consol but sticking to the shadowy perimeter. "No Feron! This is my burden to bear." She slumped against the cold dark steel wall.

Quietly she spoke aloud. "I caused all this. This was my choice. She tried..." Liara shook to get a hold of herself and sneered back to Feron. "Shepard is gone!"

"You really think she is gone?" He asked unbelieving. His expression was always hard for Liara to read. Drell expressed more with their hands, eyes and by the tone of their voice than with their faces.

Anger surged through Liara, but it ebbed away as grief overtook her.

_I let her go. I let her just walk away._ Her mind spoke feebly.

Feron walked over to where she stood and rested a hand on her shoulder. The warmth of another's touch helped calm her. "Thank you." she spoke.

"Every night I've seen you break down at that consol." His voice was somber and quiet. "And each time I wonder why."

"Liara looked up into his dark eyes, tears still twinkling in hers. "She's gone...and...I let her go..."

"Humm.." He said as he backed away moving towards the door, he stopped and turned his shoulder to speak to her again. "If the void could not hold your Commander from coming back to you, how much of a chance do the Collectors have?"

Liara was silent as she watched him walk away, and she drifted back tot the chair by the consol.

"You know she loves you." He said.

"How do you know that?" She asked. Part of his statement made her sick, yet she knew it was true.

"It was the way she looked at the closed door when I saw her leave. The torment on her face told me she wanted to stay with you, but that she also had her duty to perform. Just because you run the Galaxy's most powerful information network, doesn't mean you know everything." He said with a smile.

Liara gave him a quizzical look. _what do you know?_ She wondered.

As if to answer her unspoken question he stated, "Something's you have to just take on faith." The doors opened effortlessly for him.

He was about to walk through when Liara called out "Wait!" He turned around to look at her again.

"What does Siha mean?" She asked. The question had been burning inside her ever since before she had departed the Normandy the last time.

Feron stopped and turned to her fully. "What..." he said in surprise.

"Siha, what does it mean? She asked furtively.

"The old religion of my people believes that Sihas are warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu." Feron raised an eye brow as he continued his explanation. "The term is rarely used openly among my people because of its meaning, but is more common among couples, or very close friends. Why do you ask?"

"Jus...Just curious Feron." She said, her voice was heavy with exhaustion, and emotion.

"Liara, get some rest. I'll take things over for a day tomorrow." Feron said, and Liara nodded faintly.

Liara watched him leave the command room and she slumped in her chair and her mind took a moment to recall the memory of Thane.

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Her bare feet lightly padded on the cool mental panels of the floor as she made her way about the maze. The Normandy was still hour hours out of Halagaz, and she had been in El'Jaid's cabin trying to sleep, but at best she could do was doze. El'Jaid had been no where to be found. Liara's mind burned with the desire to rescue Feron at all costs. Two years of hard work finally was going to pay off. Yet her heart ached as it tried to piece together some answer to El'Jaid's question.

_Finally it will soon be over. I can finally save Feron..._ Her mind spoke.

_Yet I have only El'Jaid to thank, I could not have done it with out her. Did I just want her back to use her?_ Her face burned with shame as her heart mourned.

_That doesn't matter, at least there is the chance of making things right with this whole mess. Its worth the cost... _Her mind shouted rebuking.

_I love her, but I am ashamed... ashamed of what I have become. Is that the price?. _Is all that her heart spoke.

_...I know..._ Her mind sobbed.

Her feet had carried her down to the crew deck, and in to the mess area. The hour was late to it was practically empty. Even Sergeant Gardener had retired for the night. So lost in her thoughts was she that she never noticed another pair of eyes watching her with curiosity and studying her with intent.

"Dr. T'Soni I presume." Spoke a warm professional voice breaking the silence and causing Liara to jump out of her introspective trance. Liara looked to the mess table at the source of the voice and there sat a Drell who cupped a steaming mug in his hands.

"I am sorry if I startled you." He said warmly, but with an air of detachment as he continued to causally scrutinize her.

She diverted her glance from him, yet spoke not a word as she walked over to the kitchen area. She found a glass then went to rummaged in the cooler for something to drink. Out of anything she could identify as drinkable, all she found what looked like a container of El'Jaid's favorite cold drink, iced Earl Gray tea. Ice loosely clung to the sides as she took it out and poured the contents in to the glass.

_El'Jaid always did like her drinks either freezing or scalding... _Liara mused.

The Drell's continued open surveillance of her started to grate on her nerves. She casually walked around the counter top and leaned against it. She took a drink of the tea and fell the chilled liquid flow down her throat and chill her core. The heavy citrus and black tea tones caused Liara to grow nauseous from the memory of El'Jaid's scent. Her taste...

"You must be Thane Krios." Liara said professionally, matching Thane's air of detachment.

The Drell didn't respond as he took a drink of his own steaming mug, but his eyes continued to observe her. He was studying her. Looking for weakness? She didn't know. The gaze was proving too much for Liara to bare and she started her way back to the elevator. The burden of El'Jaid's question still weighted her down like lead, and she didn't want the unwanted attention of an inquisitive stranger.

But before Liara could fully extricate herself from the room Thane spoke again. "I should thank you for contacting me about Nassana Dantius."

Liara stopped cold in her tracks, but she didn't respond. She turned to look at the Drell and consider his position and hers. She was wary of him. She knew what he was capable of, after all she had hired him to...handle Nassana. Thane continued to look on towards her, but now Liara felt that his eyes were peering through her. She continued to give the assassin the came cold calculating face that she always wore when dealing with anyone on Illium...even El'Jaid.

But Thane knew it. He knew Liara. "You seemed surprised." He said and his eyes narrowed as if sighting down on a target.

Liara's eyes darted to the side, averting away from his. She clenched her glass tighter, slivers of frost fell from the chilling glass and crashed to the metal floor.

"Please. Sit." His words were warm, but more of a command than an offer. In any case Liara was curious as to how he even knew she was really the one who had put the contract out on Nassana's head. She slowly crept forward, and kept her eyes fixed on Thane, ready to encase him in a stasis field at a moment's notice. She took a seat on the far end away from him, and set the sweating glass of tea down in front of her. She composed herself much like she did in her office on Illium, and said nothing.

Thane continued to look at her, a slight warm smile caressing his face. He took a deep breath, than gave a look down at his cup in his hands. "The have been only two employers who covered their trails so well. Yet for a few subtle difference that only a person who has worked in their world for their entire life could discern. "

This caught Liara's ear again. She had tripled checked her connections when making the offer to the assassin. She knew that no information had been leaked that could have possible linked her to Nassana's death. Liara didn't care about Nassasna's empire, her status, or her wealth. On Illium those things were all that mattered to anyone. At the same time, she knew he was not bluffing.

"So tell me. What subtle differences did you perceive about these two employers?" Liara asked, her tone was icy, but non-threatening.

This time it was Thane who looked away, giving her the distinct impression that he was carefully deciding what to divulge to her. But then he returned his intense gaze back to her. "Both work in shadow and operated through fourth parties who knew nothing of their Employer's identity, or motive. Both made sure nothing could directly be traced back to them. No orders, image, sound, or data trail. But I knew them."

Liara's face of cold ice continued, though inside she was roiling in panic. _What does he know..._

She saw his face hardened slightly, and he looked down at the middle of the table, and he tightened his grip on the mug in front of him. "One betrayed me."

Liara then saw his face soften, and his eyes returned to her. "The other sent me a second Siha to save me, of which I am eternally grateful"

_Siha...what does that mean?_ Liara thought. "While I am flattered you think that I put out the contract on Nassana. It wasn't me." She said flatly. she was done talking with the Assasin. She didn't want to be reminded of what she had done to get to where she was now. Liara pushed against the table and got up to leave, turning her back towards the assassin.

"Ah, always the 'pious' one you are, 'Saint of Shadow'." Thane said acidly. A Smile curled around his lips.

Liara's insides turned to ice. Saint of Shadow. A name she had received while on Illium. She had made that name by her 'good deeds'. Her network was second only to that of the Shadow Broker. She used it to turn anything she could against the Shadow Broker, even people...

_I wanted to help people..._Part of her mind reasoned. _Illium is just as corrupt and heartless as Omega_. _Was it wrong to try to bring some light to it?_

_Don't be foolish. I used them...it was convenient protection from the Shadow Broker and cheap leverage against him. _Another part reminded her of the truth. She had made it more and more...uncomfortable...for Shadow Broker operatives to operate around Illium because of her. Because of the support she had garnered, but that did not mean that Shadow Broker operatives weren't there in shadow...

Liara felt as if she was going to be sick. Popular option was the only reason why the Broker had only sent the Observer, Nyxeris to watch her. Popular support was the only thing that kept Liara alive. _It took El'Jaid to show me that I had danger close._ She squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the surge of unrest that threatened to overpower her.

Liara had used popular opinion against Nassana. In Truth, Nassana had been a small job to Liara. Nothing more that an easy 'pleasant distraction' from her hourly hunt for her true prey. Nassana was a text book example of a corrupt politician and twisted business woman. For months Liara had whittled away at her image and lies through rumor and bribes. She had secured the loyalty of nearly every one on the Dantius board. Those who were to greedy were kept quiet by the secrets she knew of them. From who had slept with who's bondmate, to one Volus to had hired a hit on his own brother over a Quasar bet. Yet Liara's break came in contacting Seryna.

Through a few of her contacts Liara had come to know that Seryna had been a body guard of Nassana, perhaps even a lover. But had been fired when she had found out that Nassana had been 'cleaning house' when it came to her friends, and 'disposed' of any...undesirable...employees. Seryna had been lucky. She was just simply fired.

Liara had reveled as Nassana became unglued, ever increasingly paranoid. Her Corporate empire was in tatters, her political memory burned. Nassana was wealthy and powerful even to the end, but she lacked the true freedom that was exceedingly rare on Illuim. Privacy. It had taken months, but Liara had succeeded in crafting Seryna into the anvil for Nassana. Liara knew everything there was to know about Nassana's coming and goings, so much so that through her network Liara had made Nassana nothing more than a caged nightingale who's wings had been clipped.

It was even through Seryna that Liara had found the perfect hammer. Thane.

Some would think that Liara had done it as a show of power. That she had done it as a display that she truly knew how the game of information worked. Others had used it to craft her the image of a modern-day Velvet Cloak.

_I am not that pious._ Liara swallowed sourly. _I wanted her to pay. To Suffer. She thought it was cute to send El'Jaid after her own sister. _She scowled as the memory surfaced in her mind as she remembered the twisting rage that shone in El'Jaid's eyes when she confronted Nassana back on the Citadel. Liara knew that El'Jaid had wanted nothing more than to plaster Nassana across the walls of the bar, but being a new Specter, and Humanity's first, she was forced to place nice.

Shepard is an interesting woman isn't she." Thane's voice crashed in to her consciousness. Drawing her back to him.

"I am at the end of my life and I have seen and experienced much. Experienced some things close to what she has." He took another drink from his mug. Liara slowly crept back to the table. "At the same time with similarity between her and I, that familiarity, I cannot begin to imagine what is must be like to be reborn, yet still have the same mission to chase, the same motivations making me wake, the same fears driving me..." He looked up to her seeing in to her eyes. "The same desires filling me."

Liara shivered. _What did I do to her?_ _By the Goddess, Damn you Assassin... _Her mind choked as she struggled to contain her emotions. "You seem to know her well..." Liara finally said fighting back tears.

Thane smiled slightly and he closed his eyes and inhaled the vapors from his mug. "When comparing my knowledge of her to yours; I would actually say I know her not at all."

Thane's eyes glazed over as he peered down in to the hot pool of his mug, and he began to speak.

_The door hisses open and she walked in. She smells of Citrus and fresh black tea mixed with ocean air. With the grace of Arashu she sits across from me_

_She asks me, "How are things with Kolyat?". She is wanting to know that everything is fine. She needs it to be fine. For everything around her to be stable in a chaotic world. _

_I ask her if she had anyone to care for. Her eyes widen and I suddenly feel as if I'm in a viper pit as the mercy of a angry serpent. But I press on as I see an opening in her eyes, and I strike. "Who was the Asari in the trading floor office?"_

_I see her eyes crash to the desk. She says nothing, yet she is screaming at me the entire time in silence. I see in her eyes love, anger, hurt, despair, hope and yearning. But just as quickly as it the door opened, it slammed shut on me._

_She was the Commander again. "I should go." She says and leaves my presence like a wraith._

Thane snapped out of his trace. She smiled thinly at Liara again, as he stood up and took the still steaming mug with him. Liara could only stare in to space as he passed, mulling over his vision.

_Oh Goddess... what have I done to her..._

"Dr. T'Soni." His words came drifting back to her. "I believe we will be at our destination soon, so it would be best to try to get some rest."

Liara looked up at the Assassin, and mechanically nodded in stupid agreement.

Thane continued down the hall, but then turned back towards her, just as Feron had. His words rang with experience.

"Choose carefully where you go from here. For you have everything you desire to gain, and everything you care for to lose. Revenge is a cold and heartless mistress." And he disappeared from sight.

Liara again found herself on the Halagaz staring at blank monitors as they streamed countless bits and pieces of information. She felt tired, cold, and weary. She pulled herself from the chair and trudged down the hallway to her chamber. _She is gone, I let her just go... _her mind rang. Grief was threatening to take her as she steadied herself against the walls. And as she took the last few steps to her bed, she said a silent prayer in her heart.

_Please...Just come back to me..._


	5. Chapter 5

El'Jaid awoke in the Medbay. As if she had been gently coaxed from her slumber by a gentle hand. For the first time she has slept soundly ever since traveling back through the Omega 4 relay. For once her head was clear, and her own. She got up, and walked out to the mess area. She was starving and thirsty, and it was 2am in the morning. She went over and grabbed a couple breakfast bars, a small bowl, and poured some hot tea in to it. She then sat down at the mess and began to eat.

_Now...what?_ She thought, munching on her bars, gulping her tea. The dimly lit cavernous mess hall gave her no response. She then noticed Jack near the Medbay entrance sitting on the floor. Her Knees drawn up around her and her head tucked down. She was a asleep.

"What are you doing down there Jack?" El'Jaid asked.

Jack started, but quickly focused on the source of the voice. "Oh hey Shepard, I just couldn't sleep...too cold."

El'Jaid gave out a lopsided smile. "So what's really eating you Jack?" She tossed a bar at Jack as an invite to sit.

Jack crept over and took a seat across the table. She hungrily undid the wrapper and her eyes lit up, " Just...just wanted to let you know, Samara was really shook up. She's fine now, but for as long as I have been around her I can tell she doesn't shake fast or easy. She told a few of us what she...well fuck...went through."

El'Jaid leaned back, and scowled. "She knew the risks... she knew my background."

"Yeah she did, but she didn't. Well all she could really say is that your something else Shepard. Your the fucking definition of a Saint, Sinner, God, and Satan rolled up in to one nasty package." Jack smiled.

El'Jaid, looked at her bowl of tea, the tea grounds collecting on the bottom, and she let the Commander go for a second. "I dunno what I am honestly Jack. I look human, but I'm closer to a cyborg."

"I know what its like to have Cerberus fuck with you." Jack retorted.

El'Jaid knew that Jack was trying to find some common ground with her, but the fact was there wasn't any. "Jack its also in how I think and see things now. I don't even process things completely human." She grimaced.

Jack frowned, lost for a moment. She didn't know how to react to that what to say. "Well maybe that's why you got all of us to fight for you. Because you don't just have a single point of view."

El'Jaid smiled. Appreciating Jack's words. But then she grimaced again. "There is something else."

Jack look on, transfixed, listening.

"I've seen, and you have too. The Reapers; what they can do. I dunno if we can win this..." Her eyes flashed red, and something crept out of her that had only been there below the surface. Something beyond primal, beyond godlike, just a force that existed. It dominated the room." But I'm going to make them pay for every life they take when they arrive, what ever it takes. We all are..."

Jack was taken back and shivered. It wasn't that Shepard sounded defeatist to her, it was that she saw something in Shepard she had never seen before. She couldn't explain it. It was a force that had no definition other then raw power. She had seen the Commander as the Master of War, seen her as the Consoling friend willing to do anything to help someone she didn't even know, as the expert negotiator able to wring any deal from anyone. She had even seen El'Jaid a broken lost woman in the medbay...

...But what she saw for a moment both terrified her and struck her in awe. It was Alien, but at the same time she was drawn to it. It was like a Cobra putting her in to a trance. She would go through the very ends of Hell itself with Shepard leading...

...Her plans had changed. She wasn't going to leave the Normandy...

"Right Shepard." Is all she could manage. Jack got up and still couldn't understand what she had just seen, but she felt that her time with the Commander was over for the Moment.

But before she left, she turned back to El'Jaid. "Shepard... Samara said she saw something else too. She saw, wasn't really sure what she saw. But, well you lost something but found it again. You don't deserve to lose it again." She disappeared around the corner.

El'Jaid knew she Jack was hinting to.

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

El'Jaid came down from her Cabin and walked over to her terminal near the Galaxy map and began review her messages there. _Its going to be a long day._ She mused.

Kelly noticed the Commander's sigh and gave her a sideways glance which El'Jaid caught.

"Something on your mind Kelly."

"Noo...well... When are we going back to Hagalaz? I mean its been a while, and maybe Li...The Shadow Broker might have some useful intel..."

El'Jaid just smiled. She knew bait when she saw it. "Why would I have any businesses going to disturb the Shadow Broker." It was a lure for the lure...

"Well its just when you were in the medbay there were a lot of mentions to... and I thought it well might..." Kelley offered up taking the bait, hook line and sinker.

"Your concern is noted, but any trip there would be of a personal matter and hence none of your concern. In any case I am fine." El'Jaid said in a playfully sternly.

"Sorry if I over stepped my bounds Shepard." Kelly said smiling.

El'Jaid mounted the steps of the star map. The Normandy was hers to command. All of it. The ship, the weapons, the crew all at her disposal. She could go any where as she pleased, and all would follow her. Yet her heart only had location in mind, even though it was torn with the unknown.

"Joker, take us to Hagalaz. I have some unfinished business to discuss with the Shadow Broker."

" 'Bout time. Thought I was going have to drag you there myself..." Joker lashed back.

El'Jaid gave an annoyed smile. At least the Normandy didn't follow her blind.

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Liara shot awake. Her eyes fully opened surveying her chamber. Unlike other times she had no dream. What had woken her, she couldn't be certain. It was like a presence that had suddenly come in to the room, yet her room was empty save for her...

She swung her legs over the side of her bed and began to collect herself. The room was as dark as it was astir. Her eyes drifted over to a picture frame. The Images rotated between the Old Normandy, a Prothean dig site, and an image of El'Jaid's head pressed next to her's...

Tears came to her eyes remembering that night. Liara swept away by the memory.

It was after the Funeral for those who had died during the battle of the Citadel and just before the huge party that happened afterwards.

El'Jaid and her had gone on a stroll around the wards. Jjust on a whim, El'Jaid and her stopped and had been caught by the beautiful nebula that spread out in front of the expansive window before them.

As Liara had turned away taking in the calm bustle around them El'Jaid had turn behind her and pressed her warm face cheek to cheek with Liara. Liara smiled broadly as she felt El'Jaid's skin connect with hers. El'Jaid took the photo with her omni tool, and lightly kissed her cheek. She then walked around and took Liara's hands in to hers. They both stood there for a moment enjoying each other, with out a care of anyone else around them.

"Li..." El'Jaid said looking in to her eyes.

Liara looked curiously over to her lover.

"Thank you." El'Jaid said a smile caressing her face.

"For what El?"

"For making me whole..."

With that Liara had pulled her in for a deep kiss, her hands threading between the Specter's web of flowing red short hair.

El'Jaid pressed Liara closer to her with one hand and with the other gently caressed the back of Liara's neck. The Specter knew exactly how to get under her skin in the best way possible.

A crystal tear streaked down Liara's face as the cold presence of her chambers came rushing back in on her.

"Good day Shadow Broker. Is there anything you need? I have just updated your appointment calendar for the next 12 hours." The Broker VI replied as it floated in to her chamber. It must had sensed that she was awake.

"No thank you." Liara winced, annoyed by the drone. _The old Brokers must have been really lonely because that thing never leaves me or Feron alone._ She mused...

"Liara!" It was Feron on the transceiver. His voice slamming like a freight train against the somber quiet of her room.

"What is it Feron?" Liara replied alarmed, he would never normally contact her unless she was on the command floor. It was Feron that handled most of the day to day operations of the Organization. It helped keep his mind off the torture he had been subjected to for the last two years...

In fact the security force on the ship normally referred to him as the Shadow Broker, and paid her no mind, which was fine with Liara. It gave her more time to concentrate on all of the information flowing in, the amount of which continued to ramp up.

"I'm not sure. Captain Mallis has reported a ship entered the system about three hours ago and has taken up orbit around the planet." Feron reported.

It wasn't usual for a ship to come in to the system, yet it was unusual for a ship to orbit. But it wasn't exactly rare either. Normally they were just trading or smuggling vessels looking to discharge their cores and then leave.

What was unnerving was that ever since Liara and El'Jaid had assaulted the Hagalaz, the ship's long range sensors and system surveillance connection had not been brought up to full speed. _You take El'Jaid with you anywhere and you can expect having to clean up a mess. _She thought.

"She also reported that a small craft has entered the atmosphere, and it coming in our general direction." Feron said coldly.

That was cause for alarm. Liara cursed silently. She figured Cerberus would try something. Why else would they have given the information about the old broker to El'Jaid. There was always a catch.

"Has the craft tried to hail?" She asked? She took out her pistol and cocked it.

"No, the storm is disrupting any kind of short range communications. The Ship in Orbit has made to no attempts to signal us."

"Feron, put the security forces on alert, but keep it quiet."

_Being right in front of a super massive squall line has its advantages._ She thought.

If the craft got any closer the occupants were either stupid or looking. Either way she was prepared. She wouldn't let Cerberus over take her, she had to stand fast. Even though El'Jaid hadn't come back, Liara had to keep fighting the Reapers for the sake of every living thing in the Galaxy.


	6. Chapter 6

The Shuttle rocked violently as it fought through the turbulence.

"Joker, if you hit one more pocket of chop I'm going to show you what it's like to get a kick in the pants." El'Jaid growled pounding her fist against the cockpit door.

"Jeeze sorry Commander. I can't help it if your Shadow Broker likes to hide her ship in front of a continual hurricane. Brilliant move by the good Doctor." Joker retorted

"Can you reach the Hagalaz Joker?" El'Jaid asked.

"No Commander, either their comm system is down or the storm is too heavy." Joker came back.

El'Jaid sighed. She was on edge. She didn't know what was going to happen. She didn't like flying blind. She hadn't thought it out this far. Truthfully the last time she had left this place she wasn't sure if she would even be coming back .

"You know she loves you right." Garrus said, his dark visor masking his face, but he knew El'Jaid was on edge about seeing Liara again.

She didn't know how Liara felt about her. But she needed to know, one way or another. She need to move on one way or another...

"Thanks Garrus." El'Jaid replied.

The Shuttle steamed ever closer to Liara's ship and as El'Jaid looked on at it, it made her skin crawl. It said nothing of it's current owner. It was to her in ever form of the word, ugly and evil.

"Ok Folks we are 10 seconds from touch down, be ready to get out because I can't keep the shuttle around too long."

Garrus, Jacob and El'Jaid readied and as soon as the side door flew open they were out.

The outside of the Hagalaz was a howling maelstrom of wind, rain and lighting. But something caught El'Jaid's attention even more then the venomous storm. The ship was dark. Silent. No lights, no drones, only the engines continuing to haul on, keeping the massive ship just ahead from being engulfed by the ravenous storm.

"Heads on a swivel people! Something doesn't feel right..." El'Jaid commanded as she took the safety off her Locust. Her team starting making their way forward. Cautiously they passed around corners and by bridges. And every where the same. Empty. They made their way to the main entrance hatch unmolested, but still the ship was a ghost. She tapped a code and the door opened obediently as if it was her own home.

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"The craft has dropped off three infiltrators. The shuttle has since left the area for clearer skies. The security forces are reporting that it was a Kodiak class shuttle." Feron was relaying the myriad of radio calls coming in from the Security forces.

Liara greeted him dressed in a red battle suite. El'Jaid always liked this color of armor. The color would help Liara blend in with the hallways. "Any idea of who exactly we are dealing with?" She asked coolly.

"No, our operatives are having a hard time keeping an eye on them. At best I'm getting reports of just movement. Who ever they are, they know the layout well, and they are staying out of sight like damn specters." Feron said

Liara's eyes darted to Feron, and for a moment she wondered if this was a Specter operation. If so, then the Council must have taken Vasir's death very seriously. _First Cerberus, and now Specters? Maybe El'Jaid was right..._ Liara thought _Maybe I'm in over my head.._.

Silent alarms started to go off, the control room's panels going off like a Christmas tree.

"They are inside, I don't know how, but the main hatch alarm didn't go off. They must have tripped one of the floor alarms." Feron was racing through the controls trying to recall the security to the control decks. The infiltration team had made it there faster than he or Liara had anticipated.

Liara went running out though the main control room door. The security forces weren't fast enough. She could handle three 'guests'. Or at least buy time for security to get there. She silently ran down the halls, and then she heard foot steps, the sounds of weapons moving through the air and the infiltrators cleared the corners. Her commando training took over..

...First rule, cut off your target, get behind them...

She ducked in to a side hall that connected with the main passage. She quieted her breathing, though her heart was racing in her chest. She pressed up against the cold steel walls, letting the shadows cover her face.

...Two, know what your up against...

As the infiltrators passed she peeked out from her cover. Two Humans, One in light black armor, male. Possibly biotic, the other was...

_Is this some sick joke?_ she thought...

..the other, the leader, was female and wearing red armor...

Liara grimaced. She had heard rumors of more humans joining the Specters, and she knew that it was a human trait to imitate a famous person, but this was an insult to her, to El'Jaid...

Her grip tightened around her Phalanx pistol.

The third flanking the right side of the leader was a Turian, male, wearing silver heavy amour. He was a heavy hitter.

...Three, when your our numbered, and out gunned, start with the head and work your way down...

She could simply kill them, a Singularity and a few grenades would do the job...

..but she wanted to know who they were. It didn't seem like Cerberus to have a Turian...and the leader... It could also be the Specters. Either could be trying gain access by a faint to build an infiltration team that had the same makeup of one of El'Jaid's squads. There was also the outstanding issue of how they got through the main hatch with out an alarm going off...

"The security team is here Liara, what do you need them to do?" Feron asked.

"Send a detachment of the security team through the door in to the adjoining room when you have my signal, but they are under no circumstances to kill the infiltrators, we want them alive." She spoke coldly.

"Understood." Was Feron's reply.

...she needed to lure the leader away...

Liara picked up a near by wrench and threw it down the hall. It ricocheted off the floors and hall with a clatter.

The Leader stopped and held up a clenched fist. The two flanking her stopped and looked around for the source of the noise.

"Move in to the command center. I'll go back and check that out. I don't like this. Its too quiet..." The Leader said calmly..

_It sounds like her..._ Liara resisted the urge to call out. It could still be a faint. El'Jaid had never came back through the Relay!

"Understood." Replied the Human male. The squad started to move apart.

Liara's heart was racing in her chest. She feared that it's beat would give her away, but she kept very still in the shadows.

The Leader passed her by, and Liara could tell that she was a combat veteran by the way she moved. _I'd make this quick. _Liara noted.

No sooner had the leader passed Liara walking down the hall way and the other two infiltrators had passed through the door that her trap was sprung...

Liara slinked out from cover and hit the leader with a stasis field that held her in place elevated off the floor, and the doors behind the two flanking infiltrators slammed shut. Liara waited and listened for a moment. No sounds of gun fire, the other two were taken with out a fight. Good.

Liara raised her hand gun at the leader's back.

The Leader's red amour was highlighted by white details and was indeed a match for El'Jaid's. It's load out was complete with a Matock heavy rifle and an Arc projector.

_Clever..._ Liara thought.

She was about to speak when it was the Leader who broke the silence..

"Remember what I said about you becoming a recluse with creepy information? You really have a way of greeting your friends T'Soni..."

In Liara's shock she let go of the stasis field and dropped her pistol to the floor. The Leader dropped to the floor with a heavy thud but was quickly rose to face her.

Through the Helmet's visor Liara saw those unmistakable emerald eyes. One pupil was glowing a faint red, the other a faint blue. The Leader pulled off her helmet and gave Liara a lopsided grin.

Liara stood there before her Commander with her hands raised over her mouth her eyes wide...

"By the Goddess...El'Jaid!"

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El'Jaid walked forward to the command center with Liara, to find both Jacob and Garrus. One sitting in a chair the other leaning on the wall. The security forces had been called off by Feron after he had recognized Garrus.

"So, Garrus, how many times now has Shepard walked us right in to a trap?" Jacob asked amused.

"I stopped counting, it helps me sleep at night." Garrus said giving El'Jaid a slight grin.

"Laugh it up Garrus..." as El'Jaid rolled her eyes.

She turned to Liara, with her arms crossed.

"So. What's with the Ghost ship theme and everything."

Liara stood there with her hand behind her head, she didn't know what to say. "Feron and I didn't know who we were dealing with. We though it could have been Cerberus or Council Specters coming because of Vasir. Honestly if we had know it was you..."

"Well I'll give you half credit on two counts, for old times sake. Its good to see you." Garrus came over and gave Liara a friendly hug.

Her eyes brightened. "You too." She turned to El'Jaid's other squad mate.

"Pleasure to meet you. Jacob Taylor." Jacob shook her hand.

Feron nodded at Garrus and introduced himself to Jacob.

El'Jaid stood there for what seems like an eon. She didn't know what to do or say...

Liara felt the same way...

"Garrus...could you and Jacob help Feron do some work on the short range communication's and surveillance relay, as you could tell they need some calibrating." Liara proposed. She was trying to get El'Jaid and herself alone...

Both Jacob and El'Jaid started laughing, much to the chagrin of Garrus who could only get out, " Damn temperamental prototype of a cannon...Don't either of you two start!"

Garrus and Jacob were led out of the control room by Feron, Jacob still chuckling.

Liara looked on. "Was it something I said?"

El'Jaid just smiled seeing her compatriots leave. "Its an inside joke."

"Oh I see", said Liara. She blushed from not picking it up sooner.

"How is Feron?" El'Jaid asked.

"As well as one can expect to be from two years of sporadic torture. But he's wanted to help so I've let him." She smiled. "He actually runs things on a day to day basis. It helps give me time I need to handle the huge flow of information."

"So how are enjoying your new job?" El'Jaid asked looking around the room. it had been cleaned up since the last time she had been there. But it still made her feel uncomfortable.

"..The location isn't ideal, but I manage." Liara smiled thinly, fatigue showing evidently on her face.

El'Jaid returned the smile, but wasn't sure what else to say...

A wide chasm of silence hung in the air between them. Neither knew what to say. What could they say? _How are you. It's been too long?_ Such questions and statements were a waste...

Yet the silence was so loud that Liara couldn't stand it.

She was tired. Here her love was standing in front of her, but she didn't expect it. She had seen El'Jaid walk out those doors and expected to never see her again...she had let her go. Yet here she was in front of her.

She was also hesitant of her. El'Jaid had changed, but Liara couldn't explain how. El'Jaid now had an even stronger air of presence that was both comforting and alluring about her, but Liara couldn't say for certain of what it was. She wanted nothing more then to go running in to El'Jaid arms and say how sorry she was, for everything...

...but it had been two years, nearly three. She had lost El'Jaid once, and thought she had lost her again. _Is it even worth it to try?_ Her mind squeaked.

All she could ask was," Shepard, what is it that you want? Why did you come back..." Her voice caught in her throat. Liara leaned back against the wall her hands at her sides and palms open letting the adrenaline crash take her. Her gazed fixed at the floor between them.

El'Jaid expression was one of hurt. Not because Liara was wrong, but because she understood how Liara felt. "... I'm sorry Liara...I...I didn't expect to come back. I didn't expect to see you again..." She took a few tentative steps forward, wanting to reach out to her, but she held back not knowing what to do...

Liara backed away walking to the side, unsure what to think.

Liara looked up at El'Jaid. Considering her. Despite her bulky armor El'Jaid looked perfect to Liara. She saw her ruby red hair flowing haphazardly about her head, her poise only spoke power to Liara; but if there was anything that enticed the Asari about the Commander, it was her eyes. Her emerald eyes acted like haloes for her pupils that now glowed with a somber blue of storm clouds. She did not know what stood before her, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter.

Liara went to her. She didn't care what El'Jaid would think, what El'Jaid was. She just needed to feel her, she needed to be held by her. She wrapped her arms around El'Jaid as tears ran from her eyes.

At first El'Jaid didn't know what to do. She was shocked by the sudden move but then she just enfolded the Asari to her.

"El'Jaid... I'm sorry... I was such a fool..." Liara said softly sobbing. And El'Jaid stood there holding her. She looked down at here as if she was reading Liara's mind.

"What do you mean Angel?"

Liara shivered in El'Jaid's arms as she heard El'Jaid call her that beautifully familiar alien name. A name she felt she did not deserve.

"...I can't stand what I have become. What I've done..." She said bitterly clinging to El'Jaid as if she would be swept away if she let go.

"I became that which I had hated for so long...but in the end I did it out of necessity rather than revenge...and I still hate it.." Liara gasped.

El'Jaid knew that destroying the Shadow Broker's network would have severely crippled her own ability to fight when the Reapers would come. She also knew what Liara meant, because she had been there her self. At Torfan...

"I used you El'Jaid...I used you to make sure Thane survived dealing with Nassana Dantius...I used you to help me ferret out Nyxeris because I was so blinded by revenge that I couldn't even see the Viper in my own home..." Liara gripped El'Jaid tighter, as El'Jaid just held on to her.

"Liara stop. Please just stop." El'Jaid said in a calm soothing voice as she cradled Liara to her. Her own tears had begun to flow. "...I forgive you, for whatever wrong or sin you feel you have committed against me..."

Liara shivered again, almost wanting to break away from El'Jaid to go running down the hallways of the Halagaz. _For all the good I've done, none can cover the sins I committed against you. _Her mind roared. Yet she continued to hold on.

"I love you Liara T'Soni, for all that you are." El'Jaid softly spoke, and her words came crashing down on Liara like a soft rain after a forest fire that cleanses the land.

Liara looked in to El'Jaid's eyes, and she noticed that the pupils had changed again. No longer were there glows of red or blue, but the deep black of space welcoming her home. She gently put her hand on El'Jaid's jaw and pulled her self in. This time the embrace washed away the years of loves loss. Liara let out a soft moan as El'Jaid gently caressed the back of her neck, and Liara gripped herself tighter to El'Jaid approvingly.

They parted, and Liara smiled, her eyes red. "I wasn't sure...if."

El'Jaid returned with her trademark school girl grin, "You gave me a reason to come back."

Liara closed her eyes and returned to El'Jaid and continued to hold on basking in her new found warmth and comfort. But it was not meant to last forever, for things never do.

Feron, Jacob and Garrus returned to the control room a short time later. The Broker VI each in turn asking how they were and referring to each as the Shadow Broker. As it drifted away Feron threatened to throw a wrench at it, in exasperation.

"Looks like everything is back in order. You shouldn't have any problems keeping an eye on things, especially when it comes to identifying friend from foe..." Garrus flashed a mischievous 'smile' to Liara. "Ready to go Commander?

El'Jaid nodded, but then looked to Liara. "Care to come up to the Normandy for a while?" A air of mischief was on her voice.

Liara was at first hesitant but then smiled and agreed. "It will just be a little while."

El'Jaid beamed, "alright, we will see you soon."

Jacob radioed Joker and the three infiltrators departed the Hagalaz.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as the shuttle's door opened, El'Jaid burst out. She was walking, or rather, running on cloud nine, beating both Garrus and Jacob to the elevator.

"What has gotten in to her?" Jacob asked astounded as he was nearly bowled over by her as she rushed past.

"I'd say she has a really bad case of Blue Fever." Garrus retorted with a 'smile' of fanged teeth, as he leaned up against the wall patiently waiting for the elevator to return.

"Huh?" Jacob gave Garrus a completely lost look.

The Turian just chuckled. "Forget about it..."

El'Jaid took the elevator to the CIC. She wanted to make sure Kelly knew about their guest and to schedule a 'short' tour of the ship. She wanted the time to get presentable. Battle armor had it's advantages, but as casual wear, if fail miserable.

But as the doors opened and she was about to stride out she was accosted by Mordin.

"Shepard! Good to see you, wondering if you had a moment. Need to speak with you in private..." The Salarian looked at her, barely able to contain himself.

Uneasiness settled in El'Jaid, not sure what to expect but figured that it shouldn't take long.

She followed the Doctor back into his lab, her eye catching a variety of experiments running all at once. Some she was curious about, others she didn't even want to know about.

Mordin quickly turned towards her his large eyes flashing and started off like a bullet.

"Thank you for giving me some of your time. Know how busy you are." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Feel like I need to clean the air, seems to be a constant topic between us, embarrassed about our last conversation before we defeated Collectors. "

It took El'Jaid a moment to remember exactly what it was about, but then her face flushed red."Ah Mordin its quiet alrigh..." She tried to curtail him, but she was too slow.

"No no no. My mistake! Not used to interacting with humans, was unsure about your intentions. Misinterpretation of human social efforts as being courtship in nature rather then friendship..." The Doctor grinned. A grinning Slarian was not something El'Jaid had ever gotten used to...

"I understand Mordin. But I've really..."

But again the Salarian out paced her. "Would like to talk with you about Dr. T'Soni though, strictly confidential. Doctor to Patient."

"Er..Okay." El'Jaid tried to suppress the uneasy grin that was slowly working its way at the corner of her mouth. She really hoped that Mordin 'had' removed all of the Cerberus surveillance bugs.

"I reviewed the recordings of your post Omega-4 relay episode and made inquiries with Dr. Chalkwas, Garrus and especially Joker. EDI also informed me that you spent much of the time before the Relay jump composing a letter and looking at a photograph of Dr. T'Soni. Have come to the conclusion that you are interested in her. "

El'Jaid's face was burning red with embarrassment. _I've really got to have that chat with Joker..._ She screamed to herself.

"Also according to your armors vital monitoring equipment that I received, have noticed your stress levels are at an all time low, or rather the negative stress levels. Other stress levels have climbed to new highs, not matched since last conversation with Illusive man."

Mordin began to pace.

"Asari and human pairings offer many opportunities for physical and psychological relief. Asari view intimate contact as sacred, but important between established partners..."

El'Jaid wanted to run...

"Asari melding experience is like no other, transcendence, complete understanding, highly erotic. But experience can be changed by positions and actions; intensified and subdued depending on the desired effect. Have forward to your terminal variety of articles and video examples specifically dealing with Asari and human parings. Also no need to worry about pregnancy as Asari 'choose' when to become pregnant, and..."

El'Jaid was cherry red and quickly cut in. "Ahhh...thanks...Mordin. But ya know I have really got to go, feed the... ah hamster-fish..." She quickly backed out of his lab.

Mordin just smiled and called after her. "Understood Commander, but please feel free to stop by if you have any questions or concerns! Would like to compile an understand and forward findings to medical authors!"

_I have to junk that stuff, before Liara finds it!_ She screamed in her mind as she went running for the elevator.

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Liara docked a while after El'Jaid and her squad had returned to the Normandy. She was greeted by Kelly who was as bubbly as always and couldn't wait to show her the ship. More than once during the tour she apologized since the Normandy had not gotten a chance to repair and refit since coming back from the galactic core. But still the ship was a marvel.

As they went around the ship, most of Shepard's team greeted her with respect and warmth. Zaeed and Jack were characteristically absent.

When Kelly showed her the medbay she was delighted to see Dr. Chalkwas. Liara embraced the 'younger' woman with warmth.

"My dear it is good to see you again!" Chalkwas beamed.

Liara returned the smile. "I never thought I'd see you again. Or if I did, I never expected to see you on a Cerberus ship."

Chalkwas gave her a half grin. "I realized that I respect the Commander more than I did the Alliance. Besides I don't think this ship is Cerberus any longer."

Liara gave Chalkwas a knowing smile.

"How is she?"

Dr. Chalkwas painfully smiled, her gaze drifting away. She simply said. "Those who have been through fire and beyond are never the same."

"What do you mean?" Liara asked.

Dr. Chalkwas refocused her attention with a polite smile. "No need to listen to a old woman's musings my dear. I think I have taken enough of your time."

Liara gave her a quizzical look, but returned her smile. "It was good to see you Dr. Chalkwas." She turned and passed out of the med bay and on to the observation decks.

There Liara met Samara. Her awe and old disciplined habit took a hold of her and she bowed her head at the Justicar and Matriarch. Samara smiled at the sign of respect. "You must be Liara."

Liara smiled at the acknowledgement, but remained quiet. Yet a question gnawed in her mind...

_How does she know who I am?_

"Shepard is quite the woman isn't she. In all of my life I have never me such a unique individual." Quipped Samara.

"Why do you say that Justicar?" Liara asked.

Samara smiled," You already know what I speak of. Whispers and hints, yet you really do not truly know her, do you."

Liara just looked at her wondering and Samara read her quizzical look.

"You are the one thing that helped keep Shepard alive thought the entire experience, she lives for you, she lives because of you." Samara said wisely.

"But how do you know Shepard as she is now? Liara asked Samara.

"You may see soon enough young one." Samara just smiled. "She has changed and I doubt she can even be called human anymore. She has gone through a crucible and flame. Others would have simply been turned to dust by the experience. Yet she cares greatly for you. Take care of her when she is in need." Samara said.

Samara then returned to her meditation, and Liara knew it was time to leave her. As she walked out of the door, she looked back still aghast that Shepard had recruited a Justicar to follow her. She turned Samara's words over in her heart

As Liara and Kelly rode the elevator up to the CIC Kelly started to probe since they were both alone.

"So I understand you specialize in the Protheans." Kelly stated.

"Yes, I spent most of the last fifty years learning all I could about them." Liara said warmly.

"Why is that?" Kelly said surprisingly, the thought of studying something for so long just daunted her.

"The Protheans were the last known space faring civilization to rule the galaxy. I wanted to find out what had happened to them. That is how I met Shepard."

"Oh?" Kelly asked, her interest renewed.

"She found me trapped by a Prothean security device on Therum." Liara chuckled remembering how she had trapped El'Jaid on The Hagalaz not but a few hours ago. "She fought off Saren's men and brought me to the Normandy, and I helped her stop Saren and Sovereign. "

"And now you are the Shadow Broker, and your going to help Shepard stop those who destroyed the Protheans." quipped Kelly.

"Yes." Liara said distantly. Her body language gave Kelly the distinct impression that her questioning time was over.

"I see." Kelly sensed Liara's desire to see the Commander.

Kelley walked out and gave Liara a smile. "Enjoy your time with Shepard, I hope you enjoyed the tour. It had been a pleasure Dr. T'Soni."

Liara smiled, "I did. Thank you for your time."

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El'Jaid had just finished setting out some drinks when her heard the elevator doors open. She wasn't even really sure why she had the drinks out. Just something to do to keep herself busy. She had no desire to drink. She heard the doors open and beamed when she saw Liara. "How was the tour?"

Liara smiled back. "You have a beautiful ship, and it was good to meet everyone and see Dr. Chakwas and Joker again...though Joker did ask if we would be acting out scenes from a vid called Veinia." Liara gave El'Jaid a mischievous smile.

"Of course he did..." El'Jaid blushed embarrassingly rubbing the back of her neck. She made a mental note to have that 'friendly chat' with Joker later. She went over to her work desk and leaned up against it, admiring Liara.

She was dressed in a beautiful full length gown of purple and red that concealed yet accentuated her features.

Liara looked at El'Jaid. Her crew had been right, she sensed something was different about her, though she her self couldn't describe it. El'Jaid was still her self, but at the same time embodied a sense of something else. She came back to her scenes and remembered the gift she had brought with her.

"El'Jaid, I thought that you would want these." Liara handed El'Jaid a white case with her old dog tags in them.

El'Jaid was surprised, and taken back," I thought I'd never see these again." She looked at them in wonderment taking a moment to remember her old life. "But these aren't mine anymore." She set the case down on the desk, and leaned back, and grimaced, contemplating who she was now.

Liara looked concerned. "How are you feeling, and be honest with me. Don't tell me what you would tell your crew."

El'Jaid swallowed, a sour look coming over her face. "Honestly? I'm tired, I'm tired of being used and pulled in so many directions. First the Alliance, then the Council, and now Cerberus."

"El'Jaid, your a powerful person, its not surprised everyone wants you on their side." Liara responded in a consoling voice.

"But no one want to listen to me, no one wants to believe me. The Reapers are on their way, and I am going to try everything to stop them..." El'Jaid balled her hands in to fists, the memory of the nightmares coming back to haunt her.

"But I don't know if it will be enough..."

Liara looked at El'Jaid. She had never seen this look of self doubt often before. She wanted to go to her, but something stood her in place. "But you and your crew went through the Omega 4 relay and came back. Your team won against impossible odds. You destroyed the collectors, you took another tool away from the Reapers."

The light returned to El'Jaid's eyes and she smiled. "Yes we did." She stood up and walked in to the 'common' area of her cabin.

She reached down towards the Prothean Relic and it gently burbled to her touch. Liara was surprised. She had never seen a Prothean Relic interact this way to anyone. And it wouldn't unless it sensed that the being was Prothean, or at least part Prothean.

"El. How did you come by that?" Liara asked curiously.

El'Jaid looked in to the Metallic orb. "On a mission gone terribly wrong. I wished you had been there." Then El'Jaid remembered who she was talking to. "Or maybe not since we would have never left with you wanting to investigate everything." She smiled playfully.

Liara gave her a sour smile and cooed, "You know I'll be 109 in a few months."

El'Jaid smiled back. "Well I could always use the spare space..."She nodded to the orb.

Liara shook her head and laughed. Liara went to her and squeezed her shoulders, "I have everything I want, but what about you El'Jaid? What do you want?"

In Liara's mind crept a question she was terrified to ask, but had to. "What will happen to us when this is over?"

El'Jaid put her hands on Liara's waist." Humm I dunno, marriage, little blue children, and old age?"

Liara softly laughed and lightly pushing at El'Jaid shoulder as she broke away from their embrace. "You just...say these things..."

She turned towards El'Jaid bedside desk and saw the broken and charred remains of the Commander's old helmet. Tears began to run down her face, as she remembered the past two years of mourning and not knowing if her gamble would pay off.

"You were dead... you came back, but then you were gone again..."

El'Jaid went to her put her hand on her shoulder. "I got better thanks to you, and I came back..."

Liara turned to her, "But when the Reapers arrive you will dive in to the fray..." Liara took El'Jaid's hands.

"I'm always going to come back to you if I have to go." El'Jaid said in a deathly serious tone.

Liara shivered, what she said next knew would be too much, but just had to say it." But I need to know that you will be coming back."

El'Jaid's complexion softened and she gave Liara her trademark half grin. "That's a pretty big promise to make..."

Liara smile mischievously back, "Oh is it..." She pulled El'Jaid close to her...

El'Jaid whispered to Liara, "I'll need someone special to come back to..." And El'Jaid lightly kissed her neck, running her hands along Liara's back.

Liara quivered as electricity ran through her, her eyes fading to black as she held El'Jaid close. Relishing her, desiring her, hungering for her. "Oh goddess I've missed you..."

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Liara and El'Jaid stood at the entrance to the elevator. Liara playfully helping El'Jaid straighten out her outfit. She needed get back in to some as semblance of physical order for her crew.

Liara smiled and signaled the elevator. "Thank you El'Jaid...for everything."

Liara moved towards the Open doors, but El'Jaid reached out and grabbed Liara's arm gently and pulled her in for one last kiss. The two embraced only as true lovers could.

And then she let Liara go knowing it was time for them to part for now...

"Take care Angel." El'Jaid said smiling at her.

Liara gave her a warm endearing smile, "You too love." She said just before the elevator doors closed shut.

El'Jaid leaned up against the bulkhead already missing Liara. But now she had to focus, there was work to do and she wasn't sure where to begin, but first the ship needed to get back in order. Besides, it was time to pay Mr. Moreau a visit for that chat she had been meaning to have with him.

8


End file.
